Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
