Define "chronic" masturbator.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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