I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
