Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
