Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
