In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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