Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
