if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Congratulations! We have a period
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