chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
