Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
