we have pet lesbian snakes
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
