Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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