In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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