I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
