just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
