So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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