im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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