TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
