You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
