Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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