brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
