after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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