I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
