Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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