singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
