well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
