You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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