he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
