and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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