yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize