i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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