I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
