It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I AM VODKA MAN
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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