problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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