It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize