Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
