watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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