No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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