how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
