You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
