eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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