hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize