I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize