update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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