Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
