I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize