No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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