I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
