So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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