R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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