Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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