i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
His nipple licking is glorious
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