it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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