Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
