you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
