I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I need moral support for this bender
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
last night I used snow as a chaser
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
