3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
