Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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