my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
