I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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