Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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