Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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